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Becoming Real

“Once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.” Margery Williams

From The Velveteen Rabbit

Sarah Ban Breathnach discusses ‘becoming REAL’ in her book Simple Abundance A Daybook of Comfort and JOY.

She mentions, “As you learn to trust the wisdom of your heart and make creative choices based on what you know is right for you, process becomes progress. ……. You become authentic.”

And here’s the rub for me, after almost 67 years of life I do NOT feel ‘REAL’. Many days I do not feel LOVING, my heart actually feels like the heart of  the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz. I know I shut the door on God after the death of my dad, but I opened that back up again and found wonder in everything around me once again. But then, here we go again, the death of a dear man, my husband’s brother, at an early age, of cancer. Ooohhh, my heart started to become brittle once again. And then the big one, the death of my very dear son in law, which I was chin deep involved in. Stay at home daddy, dearest of dear ones, treated me as a mom, played lullabies to his kidlets at night, took care of his house and kids like something sacred, and then a tragedy, I mean a tragic accident ended it all. My daughter has carried a heavy burden ……. and this time, I have inched open the door of my heart to God but a little. Oh yes, we are talking again, but I feel more like the Tin Man than the Velveteen Rabbit. I know it is my door to open, I know there is a God, but I am still mad and I fear my once loving nature has run away never to return again. But happiness lies within reach; I can feel it in the morning sun, I can smell it in the new mown fields, I can see it in the eyes of those I love. And I am just a breathe away, a breathe away. And so I will continue to let my heart guide my crafts, fold my paper, and yes, even pray occasionally for guidance. I am now beyond figuring out this life; I can make it as simple or as complicated as I decide. Most days I choose ‘complicated’.

  1. 05/05/2011 at 11:08 am

    Thank you for sharing your story. I have no words of advice. All I can say is that I am so sorry for all of your losses.

    I do love the flowers made from photos of flowers. Beautiful!

  2. 05/05/2011 at 1:16 pm

    Dacia, venting is good I think. You are sweet to show concern, but all is well at this end of the world. I hope this post of mine wasn’t too much of a downer. Seeing you are basically my only reader I guess it doesn’t matter really. I think you understand. And no comments are necessary either. We are all on our own journey, but many times, though different, walking side by side. Have a really nice day. I just came home to another order, which brightens my day. Hope you are finding many bright spots on your journey too. Karen

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